A Poem About WICS
Coming to WICS is the right thing to do
Now our free days and evenings are relatively few
Movies, plays, exciting trips, and dinners out
That it helped in our healing there is no doubt
The best in Support Groups that elsewhere may be quite rare
Rejoining life and celebrating our growth with those who care
Friends and special times and always a warm greeting
Here are happy feelings about which we’ve all been dreaming
With new strength and self-assurance, it is better that we are
Thanks, WICS friends for helping us through our grief to journey so far
By Lani Hassenstab
THANK YOU WICS!
A friend took me to WICS the first time and I did not want to come. I thought I could work through the death of my husband all by myself and I certainly did not want a group that would tell me what I should do and how I should handle things. Some of the things I learned that first night were:
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When it was my turn to introduce myself and my deceased spouse I could not speak through my tears (No one told me I had to talk, they just went on to the next person)
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I cried through the whole meeting (No one told me not to cry or to knock it off)
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The men and women at the meeting talked about their week and some cried and some laughed (both the laughter and tears were accepted)
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There was a facilitator that presented a topic and led a discussion (I didn’t have to contribute; they were just glad that I was there)
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At the end of the meeting, we formed a circle for a shared hug and the thought that “We are not happy for the reason you are here. But we are thankful you have found us and are here.”
I left that meeting feeling that it had all been just too hard. I didn’t think that I would be able to go back and told the friend that had taken me that I would not go again. Then the following week, Tuesday came around and I found that I wanted to go back. I went back with my friend, and I once again sat and cried through the meeting and no one told me to knock it off or to stop crying. I sat next to a gentleman who was there for the first time and we cried together and we formed a bond not only because of our tears but because we were in the same place in our grief, That bond kept me going back for a while and then I realized that I was going back for me, not for him! I needed the WICS Group and what they were offering me.
I had learned that grieving did not have to be a private thing, that there were others to share with who had been through the same thing or were going through the same thing as I. Others could help me in this path of learning to be a widow and to go on with my life. I quit asking the question “why me?” but did occasionally ask the question of how to make my life better and eventually the question of how I could help others.
Thanks to the Covington WICS group I have learned to live my life without Van (my husband). That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him every day. It does mean that I have found things to make my life meaningful once again and I enjoy the things I am doing. After Van’s death I did not believe I would ever find JOY in life again, but I have. I still do things almost everyday that I will say to myself that I wish Van were here to share this or that with me. There are still the twinges and the tears periodically and I know I will live with that for the rest of my life, just like so many others do. The JOY has come back into my life with the help of WICS. i I have no idea where I would have been or the direction my life would have taken without the WICS organization.
Liz Swearingen